Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
