I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
