Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
