he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
