Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
