Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
