i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize