Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
