one might say we're banned from that church
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
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everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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