Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
