THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
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Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
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I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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