Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize