She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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