East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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