okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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