I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
