If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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