maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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