I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
