Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize