youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
where am i from again
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
