And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
