She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
