Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
