Soap is not a condiment
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
