Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Cover your peen. We're going out.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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