that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
