i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
My vagina just recognized that song.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
