we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
