So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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