Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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