Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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