I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
