I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
