I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
