I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
