i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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