If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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