I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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