she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
