so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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