Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
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i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
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Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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