my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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