He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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