The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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