Having a random hookup so left but love u
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
