Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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