DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize