sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
