I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
