i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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