They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize