Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
