So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize