scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
