Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
