I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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