when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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