It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
